Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Three men detained under anti-terrorist laws

Border and immigration control officials confirmed that three men claiming to be royalty and searching for the 'King of Kings' had been detained under the country's anti-terror laws this morning.

A spokeswoman said that a routine search of the men's belongings as they tried to enter the country had revealed suspicious packages containing gold and two suspicious resin like substances. She said:
"The detainees claimed that they were following a star. They further claimed that the "frankincense" and "myrrh", which could be burned to create incense, were gifts for an infant child who had been born to save the world ."
The Minister for the Interior declared:
"I am indeed incensed that these dangerous, foreign, religious, drug-crazed, terrorist nutters should attempt to target our innocent children on Christmas Eve.

The were clearly intent on blowing up children and shoppers endeavoring to save us from the credit crunch during the most important retailing celebrations of the year.

We have no doubt that the gold was to be used to buy the worst kind of scary bomb you could ever think of and set it off with those dangerous other combustible substances we found in the men's bags.

If only we could have made them carry biometric ID cards we could have caught them... er what was that boss? Oh er I mean if only we could have locked them up for 90 days... er 42 days... er 28 days... they'd never have threatened our innocent citizens. And if we'd just had all their DNA and fingerprints and emails and mobile phone data and health records and children's details and they could have worn a sign reading "I'm a terrorist" and ..."
The Minister didn't get to finish her statement as officials dragged her away at this point, since she had begun to roll her eyes and foam at the mouth.

It is thought that the three suspects have been locked in a dark cell, secured by the most sophisticated electronic locks ever devised and the key thrown away.

Unfortunately the key is already known to be widely available on the internet...

Civil rights campaigner, Lee Bertie (labeled as 'Lie Bertie Lie' by the government), has set up a website on behalf of the three men at

In other news a very bright object, which commentators are speculating may be a real flying saucer, has been spotted hovering over an old stable in downtown Bethlehem...

Best wishes to all my readers for the festive season and the New Year. :-)

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